Eat the rich

I’m going to write this now because I’m feeling extra stupid and ditsy, which can only be a good thing. I’ll regret it later but only after the two people who read this will have a good laugh at me.

You should have seen the peoples faces on the buss as I word vomited unholy things on the phone to a certain friend who might need counseling for having me as friend (you know I love you)

I caught the guy sitting across me having a chuckle as I declared that my middle name is awesome and that really it’s my first name but people don’t use it because it’s a given take that I’m awesome. I was being sarcastic but sadly no one else knew this except me. I think they’ll go home and give thanks to any higher power for not being born with the stupid-gene. I would! No humor left in this world anymore. So sad.

I need to get a viking helmet with horns… And a life. And some socks, I found a hole where there used not to be in my favorite pair of unpaired socks this morning. This was also sad.

But on a bright note my birthday is in 11 days! Thus making me an adult with high power over the universe.

I got a Nikon D60 from my parents as a present. I’ve been trying to learn how to actually take picture with it. The camera itself is very good but the person fiddling around with it isn’t. But here are some which I’ve taken so far.

Helsinki in September.

err..I’m seemingly limited to flora and fauna.

Slightly embarrassing… Make that very.

I’m getting rather angry at wordpress right about now. Might jump ship to Blogspot.

Mums French/American friend is coming for dinner today. Mum said before she went to pick her up “Jade please try to restrain yourself from being your usual charming self, I would appreciate it” How lovely is that? From my own mother. Plus she’s was trying to get me out of my woolly socks, all I had to say to that was that I wouldn’t take them off even if her majesty the Queen would be coming for sodding dinner.

I wonder if I’ll be able to make a complete arse out of myself internationally. You don’t need to be mystic Meg to figure that one out.

Later Toodles

I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you

Bugger and crapballs.  This day has been horrid beyond words. All I want to do now is crawl into bed and have the day over with.

It was just one of those days that you just knew something was bound to go wrong, and made you think that maybe it would be a good idea just to stay in bed. Alas I didn’t, and it kept on rolling downhill like a baby in a wheelbarrow.  I can’t be arsed to write/moan/whine/blubber/complain so I’ll just leave it at that. If I know you in rl you have probably already heard my bellyaching and got sick of me. Wish I had a human shaped punch bag…I even had to stuff my face into the closet to let out a good squeel of rage. Kind of worked.

I did have a quick coffee moment with Halle today so it wasn’t all bad. I was feeling so crap after I got I home carnaged half a packet of Mc Vitie’s biscuits. Poor things..I don’t think they saw it coming.

On other topics I have a horrid asthmatic cough again.

Eela left last Friday to France, miss her.

Grandmum had her 70th birthday yesterday. I called her up and wished her a happy birthday. She got the mint chocolate on time which made me happy.

What else..I should be reading for upcoming exams and so on, but instead I’m trying think of  how to weasel myself  out of my 18th birthday brunch, another good example of mother’s love gone wrong.

Love Ya’ll!

Golden August

Azure Ray

Sleep

Fill these spaces up with days
In my room you can go you can stay
I can’t sleep i can’t speak to you
Now these years locked in my drawer
I’ll open to see just to be sure
I can’t sleep i can’t speak to you
And so i’m reaching out for the one
And so i’ve learned the meaning of the sun
And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view
I’m watching through my own light
As it tints the shade of you
Hold my wine hold it in
Nobody’s lost but nobody wins

Toga mea iterum surrepta est!

That my good readers means someone stole my toga again ( I bet Caesar had to use that quite often). Very practical if your toga gets stolen and no one speaks undead languages. You’ll thank me later.

My dearest child or computer as others might call it has been unavailable for the last 5 days and I’m overjoyed to have it back. Dad needed the power pack for something I had no clue of (or MAYBE it was conspiracy against me…) So naturally computer said kaputz and went into a coma. But now that it’s up and running I can finally get the holiday/random pictures here.

In Brighton for the day. Not very sunny though. Got rained on but mmyeah. My horses name was Kelly.

Camden! I bought cute bear ear muffs from there:)

Took train from Camden back home. I kept on sticking my head out of the window so in the end my hair looked like a birds nest.

An End Has A Start

I just checked my stats. God people! I ask myself why the top search result is sad little girl?!  I first regarded this with humor and a cup of tea but then I began to wonder the very existence of the meaning. If there is a person out there who googled sad little girl and came here, you my friend are mistaken. Try complete headcase and we’ll talk again.

I need a McVitie’s biscuit.  Or a butterfinger will do.

My break from reality in England has been all but awesome. Far from non stop power Ranger action but Its been just so relaxing to sit myself down and cherish the love I feel towards Doctor Who, Sugar Rush and Nathan Barley in peace without someone calling me a lazy bugger and pushing a wheezing Zombie vacuum cleaner into my hands (sorry mum)

I’ve found hidden talents over here. Not to sound smug or anything *wink* you are now reading the text of a new born Guitar Hero. I kind of sucked at it but perseverance eventually won and after long days of almost breaking Ollie’s guitar I now can play it on Medium with notes hit by 95%.

I’m sad to be going but I’m glad I’ll be able to see my friends in Finland again. Maybe not school so much but I’ll bear it and hold a stiff upper lip as it steamrolls over me.

Love and hugs as always xx

Note: I want a voice changing Dalek helmet so bad. I could run around the house shouting  EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! We’ll…I do that anyway but I could have even more fun with the helmet.

Summer skin

I have a head ache and it might have something to do with people I call parents being back home. Its just that you get used to a quiet and peaceful house we’re you can totter about in your undies.  And then suddenly BAM there they are nagging about you not eating enough and how filthy the place is. I can only thank the heavens that I’m bloody well flying off tomorrow to England for some well deserved R&R. Mum will probably have a field day of glee when she finally gets to through my stuff and throw all the “rubbish” out.

Sigh* My room will probably look like a picture ripped out of the IKEA  catalog by the time mum is happy with it.  Here are some Ruisrock pictures btw.

Ain’t I cool. I looked like a retard buut it was a  rock festival so people we’re wearing fake boobs and such so I don’t think I was the circus clown after all:D Plus the color rocks.

The Sounds

blegh. These two managed to put up with me for quite a while. A big feat let me tell you. Although I’m asking myself why does my face have to look so stupid every time someone whips out a camera.. I think blow up Barbara just ran for cover.

OK that’s that. I’ll maybe write while in england.

Keep it real and keep rocking homies! xx

Kill the director

I feel dead. Ruisrock was so worth it though. I mean whats a few days of no food, cold showers and a crammed tent with spiders (spiders are my friends now), millions of blisters and don’t get me even started on those out toilet thingys, I’m trying to push those out of my memory for good thank you very much. I have a killer flu right now. My head feels like a huge fuzzy ball and I’m avoiding all mirrors for a while. But I tell you it was awesome awesome awesome to see bands like Porcupine tree, Flogging Molly, Ministry, Life of agony, The Sounds, SMG, HIM, Primal scream. Laura even managed to get me to see Stam1ina and guess who got pushed into the pit. That actually happened when Ministry were playing too… I will never be the same again after a dozen of testosterone and alcohol fueled men keep repeatedly slamming into you and knocking you to the ground. I have bruises to prove that I escaped. Aino just laughed at me as I crawled gasping and holding my bruising limbs like a wimpy little girl out of the crowd. Fun all the way. I was dead on my feet yesterday as I got home. Somehow I navigated to bed and went into a coma that lasted 17 hours. Mum just looked at me with a gleeful I told you so expression this morning as I went on a hunt for coffee. She commenced on the whole “sleeping off your hangover were you jadeybird?” I pretended not hear.

I have the house to myself for two weeks, because mum, dad and the kiddies are going to England. I can’t go with them because I have the old carpet bag of dog and cats to look after. I’m flying on the 24th. I’m just so happy to see my cousins, friends and the oldies. I miss my grandparents so much. I kind of wish I could live in England just so I could at least help them out. But I’m happy to be going for two and a half weeks anyway. I’ll update before I go to UK and maybe even post some of the horrid festival pictures:)

Kisses and Hugs xo

Where the roses fade

It’s quiet now. I stare at the blue of the sky from my window and wonder if I should go for a walk. It’s a nice evening for once. The last rays of the sun colour the tree tops a dusty shade of gold. I wish I could do something… But I don’t, I just sit here on my bed and never do anything. I read, sleep and barely eat but I’m still the same. Just me.

I’m confused and find myself in a situation where I’m clueless on what to do. I feel like a read in storm, I might bend in the hard winds but at some point there has to be a breaking point. I can’t keep on evading the hard and painful things anymore, I will break someday. Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday.

Writing just seems like the best thing to do right now. It makes my thoughts almost seem like a living creature. They wound themselves from the tip of my pen leaving they’re inky mark on the white paper and making the sentence seem more real and alive. Maybe even more alive than myself sometimes.

Last Friday was lovely, we had a little picnic with Eela, Becca and myself. The sun was warm on our faces and the heavens smiled upon us and decided not to rain on our little spot of happiness. I suppose whenever I remember that day I’ll get the lingering taste of cigarettes and strawberry juice and feel the bonds of friendship around me like a warm hug from someone who I’d thought was lost forever.

I love Eela she’s my own personal sunshine

I’m rather reminded of a quote by Mother Teresa: “There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.”

Let’s all go have some sponge cake

I really should do my Swedish homework..meh not going to. I’m feeling the mounting pressure of exam week creeping up on me. It’s the last one this semester and I only have like five exams anyway so I’m not going to stress over something like that. Summer is just round the corner and frankly I couldn’t give a flying rats arse about school work anymore. Bad attitude you say, well it comes with being a lazy bum.

I don’t know really what to write about so I’ll just talk about random things you might or might not find interesting. My uncle from England is coming over on Friday. This means only one thing to me:English candy! Oh Maltesers I just don’t know why oh why you can’t get them in Finland without them being ridiculously over priced. Its just not fair! Where’s the justice? Sigh oh woe is me….

I hate mondays and tuesdays. I have PE again tomorrow and I need to suffer it out because I skipped last lesson. *death* I suppose I only have to do one course of PE , but belive me when I say its hell rolled up in a nice little package tied with a ribbon.

I listened to the Killers for the first time in ages and I feel like posting the lyrics just for the hell of it and because I like them.

When You Were Young

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now … here he comes!

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don’t know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let’s take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We’re burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil’s water, it ain’t so sweet
You don’t have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
(He talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when)
When you were young

I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But more than you’ll ever know

And finally pictures of a urban pigeons and me making a face. Interesting no?

E.T. phone home

I’m just so bloody annoyed right now its ridiculous, I’m annoyed at myself and other people who probably don’t even know it. I shouldn’t be but thats me and my weird anger that just flares up and doens’t come down until I decide to calm it. At least there isn’t anybody here I can vent my anger on to which is good. I very wisely logged off msn before any harm was done.

Today was just so long, I felt like I was high most of the time or very tired which I actually was. Tried to hide my anger and ended up complayning to Becca how disapointed in humanity I am. I can’t say that was very true… I can’t find words to even start to describe myself today so I’ll just conclude it as a tired, hungry douche bag. Plus P.E began and this only means blood, sweat, and tears for myself and the people unfortunate enough to land themsleves in the same class.

Funnily enough I feel like screaming. And I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight either..Goody I’ll be extra wonderful and oh so pretty tomorrow *death* On nights like these I wish I could just cocoon myself into a ball of mysery and shame and just stay there until I feel like coming out.

One thing made me happy though, mummi made me cinnamon buns and it made me all nostalgic and warm inside. And friends make me happy, I shoud learn to appreciate you guys more. Deffinetly:) I’m happy some of you still tolarate me even when I’m angry and crouchy without proper reasons.